As the mother of a boy who had nightmares and night terrors for over a year, I can tell you - and all the other parents who are going through this ordeal - that there is hope.

It may not seem like it during the actual episode, but believe me when I say that these terrifying nights will not last forever.

My son had his first nightmare when he was only four years old. A month after that, his night terrors - and my nightmares - began.

He had been asleep for about three hours when his first night terror happened. I was in the dresser when I heard him scream. I rushed to our bed - we co-sleep - and what I saw was so surreal that I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.

Our son was sitting upright. His eyes were open and he was crying while screaming so loud that he woke up his sister who was already asleep in her crib. Fear was all over his face. I turned to look at my husband, who had the same look on his.

It was as if my own son didn’t recognise me and I had no idea what was happening, what was causing it, or why. For thirty minutes, he just kept screaming and crying while I kept stroking his head, desperately trying to make sense of the situation.

In the midst of our panic and horror, my husband managed to ask help from our son’s paediatrician. By the time his doctor replied, “Most likely night terrors”, he was already asleep.

I wish I could tell you we only experienced this once, but a few nights later, there we were again: our sleep interrupted, our son crying and screaming for half an hour.

My confidence in our parenting ability had officially dropped to an all-time low. The confusion, fear, and hopelessness that I felt every time my son had his night terror almost drove me to insanity and despair.

My son’s first nightmare involved a shark trying to eat him. He woke up crying, but after a few minutes of cuddling, he fell asleep until the next morning.

When he had the same dream a few nights later, my husband and I had a bad gut feeling that turned out to be right.

We found out later that one of his friend’s parents has a massive collection of shark-themed objects, including authentic shark teeth, shark posters, and a shark sculpture. His friend proudly shared with him his Dad’s shark collection during one of their playdates, unknowingly triggering our son’s fear of sharks, and his shark nightmares.

Limit your child’s exposure to scary content

I confess that this is where we made a mistake. As parents with full-time jobs, my husband and I had little knowledge and control over what our son was exposed to during daytime.

But after we found out about his close encounter with sharks, we were determined to be more vigilant. We gave his nanny strict orders to monitor what he is watching on telly or online, as well as the games he is playing on his iPad. We also installed parental control apps on all our gadgets to cover all the bases. During weekends, my husband and I only watch educational and kid-friendly shows with him.

He said he feels safer with these sheets because they prevent him from kicking off his covers. Since his body stays covered the whole night, he feels more confident that no monster can attack him while he sleeps.

If your child sleeps in his/her own bedroom, you may leave their bedroom door slightly open so they still feel connected to you during the night. Before they sleep, reassure them that you will come back to check in on them from time to time.

Follow a consistent bedtime routine

All the sleep specialists we talked to said that following a consistent bedtime routine is one of the most effective ways to solve any sleep-related problem. When we made changes to his bedtime routine—we read him books instead of letting him play games on his iPad and started giving him a relaxing massage—we noticed that the frequency of his nightmares decreased.

Be supportive

Immediately after my son woke up crying because of his shark nightmare, my husband and I were by his side, calming him down and speaking comforting words. We assured him that he is safe, that everything is fine, and that he just had a bad dream.

I honestly don’t know who looked and felt more terrified during our son’s initial night terrors: him, my husband, or me. I admit that our lack of knowledge and experience in this area made things worse—for our son and us, his parents—and this pushed us to learn as much as we can about night terrors in the shortest amount of time.

Night terrors, also called sleep terrors, are harmless episodes of crying, screaming, and sleepwalking that occur when our children are in a state of deep sleep. In my son’s case, he did all three. Imagine our horror when we saw him get out of bed one night, screaming, crying and walking towards our stairs!

In my opinion, the most disturbing thing about night terrors is the feeling of uncertainty they bring. During the first few times that our son had them, my husband and I spent a few minutes debating whether he was awake or asleep. Seriously. He looked awake to me (crying, screaming and all), but my husband felt otherwise. He was right.

It took us many panic-stricken nights before we learned how to properly deal with our son’s night terrors. Sure, there were hiccups along the way, particularly during the first few times they happened, but over time, we got better at dealing with these terror-filled nights. The following steps worked for us, and I hope they will do the same for you.

We never attempted to wake up our son while he was having his night terrors because we were advised early on by his paediatrician that doing so will be futile and potentially harmful for him. She warned, “If you wake up your child in the middle of his night terror, it might leave him feeling confused.”

Remember, our children are in a state of deep sleep during their night terrors. The look of anguish on their face is real, but they aren’t really awake or conscious yet. Because of this, they will neither respond to our attempts to calm them down nor realise our presence.

When our son’s night terror evolved from a mere crying-and-screaming routine to an action-packed activity where he walks around our house, my husband and I had to make some changes to ensure his safety. We locked our bedroom windows and door before he slept.

We kept our bedroom floor clean so he won’t slip or trip over anything. As an extra safety measure, we also installed a safety gate on our stairs and additional light on our hallways.

Keeping their environment hazard-free is one of the best things we can do for our children who are having night terrors. To be honest, we learned this lesson a bit too late. The first time our son got out of bed and sleepwalked, some of his toys were left lying on the floor.

We were a few seconds late in getting his toy ball out of his way, and he slipped. After that incident, we made sure all his toys have been neatly packed away and off the floor before he goes to bed.

Sleep Medicine Specialist Ann Halbower, MD, said the best thing we can do during our children’s night terror is to gently guide them back into the lying down or sleeping position. Once our children are in this position, they will naturally find it easier to fall asleep again.

I know what some of you might be thinking. My child is running around our house! How can I gently lead him back to bed? I can’t even touch him! I understand where you are coming from, and I feel your frustration. I’ll share with you what my husband did to lure our son back to our bedroom.

Most of the sleep specialists we talked to believe that stress can trigger night terrors in children, and recommended that we bring our son to a child psychologist. After completing a round of interviews, the psychologist told us our son’s preschool seems to be his stressor. It was a traditional preschool, and our son’s learning style didn’t seem to match with their way of teaching.

When we transferred him to a progressive preschool and visited his psychologist again shortly after, the psychologist confirmed with us that our son enjoyed going to school more, and felt less anxious. We also observed that the frequency of his night terrors dropped weeks after he started attending classes at his new school.